STRUGGLE


  1. Paraphrasing Orwell, I proudly claim the right to be unhappy because sometimes it makes the struggle more complex and interesting. A stormy ocean calls for for a rugged ship.
  2. In order to function we need a set of systems/beliefs because we cannot resolve all problems with the rational mind -- there are too many unknown factors and belief doesn't care about knowing, but transcends knowing.
  3. You fight -- you lose. You don't fight -- you lose. Then fight. At least it keeps you busy.


    Tactics
  4. Don't put acid in your own ground nor the flame on your own stake.
  5. Linear relations between people are necessarily superficial. Therefore beware of 'exposing' yourself to strangers by being 'deep' at the wrong time & place.


    Attitude
  6. Buddhism teaches that the right attitude is the key to advancement. The fighter always takes his own side; the fighter always fights back -- and this is 'right attitude.'
  7. Be faithful to yourself and this is how you'll discover yourself.
  8. Try not to dwell on the unbearable; it's enough that it dwells on you.


    Action
  9. Castaneda's 'warrior's dance' before death is a magnificient metaphor of action over all. Until the last moment -- movement.

    DEFEAT


  10. The defeated fighter can't be actor/active anymore but may choose to be a spectator or detached. The rule for the fighter until the last moment (because as long as he has moments he has to make a choice): joy or nothing, victory or nothing. The alternative to non-enjoyment is not suffering but the empty mind Buddhism speaks about. Nothing means that you lose nothing, you're in the 'bliss' of nothingness even before the finger of death touches you.
  11. He looked backwards; he saw nothing. He looked forward; he saw no purpose.
  12. I'll die without knowing which was my planet.

    HELL


  13. Hell is everywhere where you don't belong.
  14. Hell is when the heaviest weight on you.is yourself.

    DEATH


  15. We who care, die. Sperm/egg which don't care, survive.
  16. 'Heaven?' -- 'Hell?' When you're dead you don't remain 'you somewhere else'; you become nothing and nowhere.

    LIFE


  17. Life: 1. what you do. 2. what you don't do. Nothing in between.
  18. In life as in dance: no destination, only steps count.

    TIME


  19. Present moments are clones. Time may pass by, but each of our moments can be nothing other than the present.
  20. Time = successive multiplicity. Space = simultaneous multiplicity.

    CREATIVITY


  21. The artist does not 'do,' he 'sees' and whatever appears comes 'by itself' --meaning action operates on the subconscious level. Only vision is conscious. Subconscious releases, vision approves.
  22. The pleasure of an artist = the pleasure of the lost child who found his way home.
  23. Creativity's ultimate stage: 'exterior' and 'interior' worlds are synthesized into one point where there is no one nor other any longer. It's a 'third' world where I am all and nothing.
  24. Van Gogh et al: you had nothing from the world and all you could do is to feed the world.
  25. In order to discover what is behind the curtain you have to create the curtain. It's the curtain that sharpens the vision.
  26. Each artist works in abstract; meaning that things must speak to him as shapes, not objects.
  27. The work of art communicates the everlasting present. Great work is frozen in time and makes the space it occupies important.
  28. Adventure awaits the artist at any spot on the canvas.

    PSYCHOLOGICAL REFLECTIONS


  29. Even a wolf is not randomly connected to the universe. His first connection is his den, his starting point. It's true for all living creatures, man included. First, home -- the first attachment, then the rest of the world. On the mental level, his first home, his personal garden is his subconscious. The condition of his garden will forecast his place in the rest of the universe. The first goal, first duty for each human is to find a way 'to cultivate his garden' (Voltaire) so that the roses which flourish perfume his road. And there is no escape if this interior garden is rotten or full of poisonous weeds.
  30. Whether we are at the active/applying or passive/receiving side of pain or pleasure it's not a matter of justice/injustice but of its first causality, i.e., of the initiating equilibrium or disequilibrium. Power or weakness are the generators of all that follows.
  31. Why are primitive people, especially, prisoners of concepts? Because at the first evolutionary level the brain takes power over the human. At the next stage the human takes power over his brain.
  32. In the state of frustration, tension replaces life.
  33. One lady -psychoanalyst whose name I don't recall wrote that the fully human condition starts not with the concept "I" -- but "you." Being an expert in the Bible and Gospels she remarked that the devil never once used the word 'you' in his speeches. Perhaps evolution consists in the capacity to transcend oneself and achieve communication with oneself from a distance. So 'me' becomes equivalent to 'you.'
  34. Quantum leap: when we direct another glance at the subject it effectively becomes another subject.
  35. We don't judge the world through a loupe which is an objective tool, only through subjectively colored glasses.

    PHILOSOPHICAL REFLECTIONS


  36. First something shows up, than I do something about it and there is no obvious link, only a 'quantum leap.' Why did something show up? Why do I do something about it? Well, some questions with no answers may be useful because they throw light upon some seemingly unrelated parallels.
  37. Each philosophy contains only a parcel of truth about life because philosophy looks for formulas, treats life as a subject of study. Life is not a scientific field but rather approaches the notion of art.
  38. Philosophy -- discipline somewhere between science and poetry.
  39. The whole meaning of existence sums itself up in the formula 'what' (can I do) and not in 'why' (am I here).

    CAPSULES


    "I"
  40. As a baby I drank black milk.
  41. Me and me like a mismatched couple -- nothing in common and hand in hand.
  42. I'm sitting at some celebratory banquet and at the other end of the long hall I see a classical painting hanging on the wall. My potential is like this painting: distant, visible and inaccessible.
  43. Time to make a balance: I'm looking for a chapel to bid farewell to myself.
  44. I keep my thoughts and feelings at the epidermic level; it's surprising how deep the epiderm goes.
  45. Placed in a cosmic void, I'm my ultimate judge and ultimate witness.


    Relationship
  46. Man, your beloved is never human, it's divine and object simultaneously, like an icon.


    Inverted Hermit (Tarot)
  47. Apparently I'm here. In reality I live adrift in solitudes, seeking to enter my world. Neither in nor out, I remain prisoner of myself
  48. How to live in the barren desert. At each attempt to change I find myself in another desert.
  49. The inspired director who made 'the Prisoner' must have created an archetypical character because I find myself in it; after several evasions I'm still in the same place. How to replace 'evasion' with 'invasion?'
  50. My best friends are my thoughts; they inspire me and fill up my solitude.
  51. When useless thoughts circle in my unoccupied brain like ants upon the anthill, I feel stupid and it's hard to withstand one's own stupidity. Then life seems a boring film that lasts too long. Such are the consequences of being in the prison of oneself.
  52. It took me time to realise that I don't exist. The journey toward nowhere ends when the knowledge of non-achievement becomes the achievement of non-knowledge.
  53. The life of a prisoner inside his head:
    I see the world as other people's prison -- and what is there for me? One can have total freedom of movement and still be a prisoner inside his head. Just as the only company for the prisoner in his cell may be a passing flock of birds in the sky, the only company for the prisoner inside his head may be an occasional flock of passing thoughts. Confined in empty time, when horizons equal zero, the prisoner becomes the worst enemy of himself. And -- what choice remains to him? Nothingness of life or precipice of death.


    Clear--Obscure
  54. Soul is placed at points of the tiniest axons.


    Definitions
  55. Dream = solitary adventure with many participants, each representing parts of oneself.


    Synthesis
  56. The appeal of synthesis is that you skip analysis. Wholeness is a floater. Atomisation means that there are too many points and each one pulls you down with its weight.
  57. Analysis is theoretical, synthesis -- practical. Analysis is cerebral; synthesis -- intuitive. .
  58. Each analytical theory either ends at synthesis or breaks its 'head' against the wall of synthesis if denied its logical outcome. Synthesis is the final fruit of analytical process. All function is analytical, from organic process to thinking process. Analythical process 'disappears' with forthcoming synthesis like a caterpillar 'disappears' with the appearance of the butterfly. As the butterfly doesn't 'remember' the caterpillar; so the conclusion (synthesis) of any analytical process doesn't have to remember the preceding analythical pathway. Too much information would overload the operating mental system.
  59. Through analysis we approach the universe; through synthesis the universe approaches us.
  60. In struggle it's the final outcome that counts, not the pathway. Otherwise struggle would consist in analysis, not synthesis.
  61. Inspiration is clearly on the level of synthesis when analysis starves and fades. Analysis can stroll in the tracks of synthesis after the job is accomplished. One cannot be simultaneously his own emittor-receptor.
    Synthesis = freedom. Analysis = acknowledgment.
    Synthesis = essence, uniqueness, individuality -- like a fingerprint. When we analyse, we follow established rules.
    Each synthesis means transcending dimensions/layers which compose everything.and are subject to analysis. Action is synthesis (in physical and creative domains) when we act without knowing all the factors. To 'know' = analysis and we cannot analyse (acknowledge) and act (create) simultaneously.


    Old Age
  62. Old age: when the universe which never was on your side is now blatantly against you.
  63. "When I was young" should be replaced by: "When I was immortal."
  64. Old age: no participant, only a visitor to mostly boring sights.


    Sleep
  65. You go to sleep hoping to wake up to a better reality. When you lose your hope you lose the 'sleeping syndrome.'


    Truth
  66. Dangerous question: what is more important -- truth or the importance? The truth within the truth is more important than the truth itself is, i.e., the content may change while the longing remains. As life is dynamic, truth shows itself not in a fixed verdict but in acts related to changing circumstances.
  67. 'Truth' and 'lie' can equally heal and kill. Truth and lie are a matter for statistics. So, those terms are important when they concern the statistical 'virtual' individual or the conceptual 'mass.'
  68. The truth is solid/liquid, meaning there is no truth. And that's the truth.


    Justice
  69. Be strong in supporting justice. Don't expect justice to support you. Justice is a guideline for your power not a source of your power.

    MISCELLANY


  70. Power is based on faith and faith on ignorance. (Of course this doesn't imply a block condemnation of power and faith).
  71. Remember that whatever is 'you' within you now, will remain so for the rest of your life, gradually weighing heavier on you.
  72. In the 'linear' existence, the main handicap is that things move extremely slowly and you feel that the time consumes you along the way. In the linear world, achievement is of an epidermic nature (social success, money...). 'Depth' is non-linear.
  73. You live in the great silence shared between you and the surrounding universe. Each fish in an aquarium knows it.
  74. Existence is not a matter of time/space only. At the most unexpected and inconspicuous moment/place you can encounter eternity and infinity -- meaning yourself.
  75. Topics are like objects, and thoughts, like waves, flow around and take on their shape.
  76. There are rules in the universe, but not for the universe.
  77. Nature has its own laws -- and mocks them.
  78. We are vehicles of feelings (present) navigating in the space of action (future).
  79. Can eternity (time) carve into infinity (space -- void)? -- meaning spontaneous creation. Maybe that's what the universe is about.
  80. 'Spirituality' - harmony between my body & my 'moods' and between 'me' and the outside world..
  81. Bread is for life, circuses -- for the sense of life.
  82. If 'cause' is objective, the 'effect' is always subjective because it is a consequence of many simultaneous 'effects' that provoke other 'objective causes.'
  83. Chanting joins the universal., ignores time, transcends order/disorder, thunder and peace, clemency/cruelty, justice/injustice. It's an expression of power based on acceptance, paradox, mystery, defying analysis.
  84. You follow the light, and your shadow, like your imprint, stays behind you. If you look behind, your shadow could tell more about you than the light, which doesn't care.
  85. The most exciting thing about ideas is the link to other ideas.
  86. All structures create power which engenders revolts which engender other structures. A system is like a reptile; skin breaks when reality outgrows the system.. Each theory leads into self-perpetuation of the old problems, imperceptibly we do transform loyalty into slavery, reality into rationalising. Sometimes the best way to resolve a problem is to reduce its importance, especially the apparently overwhelming one.
  87. For us, inhabitants of the Earth, there is no other light than Sun, no other playground than the one that sustains us, and no other interconnection than with the rest of the flock. No escape from space, time, gravity, boredom, into some another magical reality/dimension.
  88. The first reality is platonic, meaning, as it should be. The second reality is what it is, meaning a mess. Can we transcend into a 'third' reality?
  89. 'Spirit' is in process not in content. I am mostly an empty vehicle.
  90. More about Lennon's 'being busy elsewhere'
    While we're busy elsewhere, fighting imaginary demons and striving for imaginary angels, our destiny unveils its outcome.

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